Porn Addiction Relapse: 8 Tips To Get Back on Track

Recovering from an addiction is one of the most difficult things a person can do. One of the more difficult aspects of recovery is the feeling that a slip, or a relapse, is inevitable. Some people believe that relapse is an essential part of the recovery process.

A relapse can be demoralizing and degrading, making you feel hopeless about your chances of ever living a life free from pornography. But it doesn’t have to. What if these slip-ups could actually help us in the recovery process?

This is not to say that relapse is ever a positive thing, but a simple shift in thinking could make the difference between long-term recovery and short-term failures.

Though we may sometimes feel powerless over addiction, in reality, we are not hopeless.

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What Is a Porn Addiction?

Pornography addiction is a tricky addiction to kick. Its diagnosis is controversial for several reasons, but essentially a porn addiction is a compulsion to watch pornography that cannot be stopped, despite any negative consequences that may occur as a result.

Signs of a pornography addiction include:

• Sex becoming less satisfying
  
  
• Ignoring other responsibilities like work and family to watch porn
  
  
• Guilty feelings after watching pornography, but not enough to stop
  
  
• Progressively viewing more and more pornography over time
  
  
• “Losing” long chunks of time while watching porn
  
  
• Using pornography as a way to cope with negative feelings, stress, loneliness, anxiety or depression
  
  
• Spending a lot of money on pornographic material
  
  
• Trying to stop but being unable to do so

Mental health professionals are divided in their feelings about the validity of sex and pornography addiction. There are no official diagnosis criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders (DSM-5), but that doesn’t mean that porn addiction isn’t a real problem.

Some people don’t see pornography addiction as legitimate because it is not the same as substance addiction, but others disagree. There are trained mental health therapists who specialize in sex and porn addiction called Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSATs). They can vouch for the seriousness of porn addiction.

What Is a Relapse?

An important place to start is understanding what exactly a relapse really is. Let’s define this term and some related terms. Relapse occurs when someone reverts to their former addictive behaviors and does so regularly.

So what does that mean for someone dealing with a pornography addiction? In this case, they looked at porn again and habitually continued doing so.

This is different from a small slip-up. A slip means that a person looked at porn but immediately returned to working on their recovery.

Though some people see these two terms as the same, they represent very different things. Anyone can slip up, but a true relapse is when a person abandons their recovery and continues the behavior they have been trying to stop.

How Can I Get Back on Track After a Relapse?

Though it might feel impossible at first, you can get back on track and do it quickly. This will not be the same as the first time you stopped watching porn. You know what to do, and you know how to do it.

We have some tips to help you get your porn-sober mojo back.

1. Believe Your Own Hype!

A positive mindset is the most important thing you can do to get yourself back in the right direction. This is both the easiest and the most difficult. It’s not even a physical thing you have to do, but it can be really hard to believe in yourself after a big mistake.

Ask yourself: What false beliefs led you to slip up? How can you shift your mindset to replace that belief with something real? Think about who you really are and know that you are not a failure.

2. Avoid Overcorrection

Your first reaction after a relapse or slip might be to freak out a little. We don’t blame you; we have been there! We like to think of an analogy here: imagine that you are driving down the highway, and you start to drift a little.

Maybe you hit the rumble strip. Maybe you drift so far that you are almost off the road.

Either way, you still don’t want to take the steering wheel and slam it in the opposite direction. That’s going to cause more harm than good. Don’t beat yourself up, and don’t freak out. Just gently steer yourself back onto the road.

3. Talk to Someone About It

Have you been attending a support group or seeing a therapist? If you’ve stopped going, now’s the time to go back. If you can’t get there, at least reach out and talk to someone.

This is not a struggle you want to go through alone, and if you’ve already gotten clean once, chances are there’s someone in your life who knows about your recovery which you can talk to.

4. Abandon The All-Or-Nothing Mentality

If all you did was have a small slip-up, leave it at that. There’s no need to turn it into a full-fledged relapse with an all-or-nothing mentality. Just because you watched porn once doesn’t mean that you have lost it all and might as well fall farther down the rabbit hole.

This type of mentality is common in addicts but is incredibly self-destructive. Don’t let self-hatred guide you in this direction. You made a mistake, you’re getting back on track, and that’s all there is to it.

5. Identify Your Triggers

Once you have overcome the guilt and shame, you need to look at this practically. What was it that made you pick up again? How can you avoid these triggers in the future?

Think about the reason(s) why you started watching porn again. It could be that your triggers have changed since the last time you did this work on yourself. Once you have done this step, you can start thinking more about coping with difficult future situations.

6. Make a Plan

Refocus yourself! Though you're not back to square one, a slip or a relapse can signify that you need to go back and reassess your situation. Remind yourself of what worked before, and have a plan of what to do when your triggers strike.

Some ideas that have proven helpful for others include:

• Exercise. Go for a walk or a jog. Just get out of the house!
  
  
• Journal. Write about how you are feeling.
  
  
• Get creative. Some people find solace in coloring in adult coloring books, drawing, or painting.
  
  
• Call a friend, family member, or a support coach.
  
  
• Create a mantra that will help you in tough times.
  
  
• Remember your why. It is not always going to be easy. Sometimes you have to remember why you want to quit.

7. Remember Your Successes

If you quit watching porn for three weeks and then had a binge-watching session one night, you might feel like you wasted those three weeks or that you somehow ruined something.

You don’t have to feel that way! You had 21 days of pure success, and you should absolutely see that as a victory. This positive mindset shift isn’t easy, and you may have to force it at first.

However, if you start to become more success oriented and recall how accomplished you felt when you abstained, you are more likely to repeat it.

8. Consider Professional Help

Depending on the level of your relapse, this may not be necessary, but if you truly feel like you have gone back to your old ways, it might be time to call in some extra help. If you were seeing a therapist before, maybe you should start seeing them again.

Consider looking into the online recovery resources that are available to you as well.

At the End of the Day

Above all, when relapse occurs, you must remember that you can find your sobriety again. You haven’t ruined your recovery and can turn things back around. Focus on how long you went without pornography, and celebrate that! Find help through friends and loved ones, identify your triggers, and plan how you will abstain from porn in the future.

Get rid of that damaging all-or-nothing mentality, and know that you will be okay by believing in yourself and accepting help from others. Hang in there!

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Sources:

How to Identify and Treat a Pornography Addiction | Healthline

Is Pornography Addictive? | American Psychological Association

Frequent Porn Addiction Relapse: 3 Tough Things You Must Do | Psych Central