Why Can’t I Stop Watching Porn?

If you feel you have been watching too much porn too frequently and are starting to lose control of this behavior, you may wonder why. What started as an innocent way to pass the time may quickly become a bad habit.

We will explain why pornography can be so addictive, what causes pornography addiction, how to talk to your loved ones about it, and how to get help.

Is Pornography Addictive?

Believe it or not, this is a matter of some controversy in the medical community. Some mental health experts consider pornography addiction legitimate and destructive to the psyche. Some therapists are devoted to treating this sort of addiction, and they are called Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSATs) and specialize in both sex addiction and porn addiction.

However, another camp doesn’t actually agree that pornography addiction is a legitimate diagnosis. It does not have diagnostic criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition (DSM-5).

It makes you wonder if any of these people have ever spent any time on PornHub. One thing that is hard to deny is that very few people watch porn once or twice and then never again.

There certainly must be some elements of porn that are addictive. In the age of online pornography, it can be argued that each video is essentially designed to hold your attention for a short period and convince you to enter the website and pay for the service.

Because of this, many people treat pornography like channel surfing, watching about 30 seconds of a video clip before moving on. There’s always that feeling that something is better in the next video. Something more enticing. Something that will be the better one “to end on.”

If that isn’t a formula for addiction, we’re not sure what is.

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What Causes Porn Addiction?

Other than the addictive traits of pornography itself, what is it that actually causes porn addiction? Well, there are several possibilities.

First, many people who struggle with problematic pornography watching also struggle with a co-occurring mental health disorder such as anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or depression. Watching pornography becomes a comfort and is often used as a coping mechanism.

It could also be that you are suffering from a chemical imbalance in your brain. Chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine serve to regulate your mood. High levels of these chemicals have been linked to compulsive sexual behavior, in addition to other mental health issues such a s depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

There’s another theory about addiction in general: the “incentive sensitization” theory. This is the concept that engaging in certain behaviors repeatedly over a long period creates memories and associations that can be incredibly powerful.

Take this example: Someone who works long, hard days comes home at 7:00 pm and always pours a drink “to relax.” Perhaps sometimes they will pour a second. Imagine how difficult it would become not to pour that drink one night.

Imagine how difficult it would be to stop altogether. This person probably doesn’t have a physical dependency on alcohol, but the psychological dependency is strong, and the alcohol does its job in terms of providing relaxation and comfort.

No matter what has caused your addiction, if you have gotten this far in reading, chances are it’s time to change some habits.

How Much Is Too Much?

At this point, you might wonder if you are consuming too much porn or if it is just a harmless habit. There are some telltale signs that things are starting to get out of control:

• You have started replacing other plans with watching porn

• You have shirked life or work responsibilities because of porn

• It is becoming more difficult to become sexually aroused

• Your relationship is suffering

• You are no longer interested in actual, real-life sex

• You have started to spend a lot of money on porn

• You “lose” large chunks of time watching porn

• You feel guilty or shameful about watching porn and you want to stop but can’t

If any of these apply to you, you might want to reassess.

How Can I Stop My Porn Addiction?

Okay, down to the important part: how can you heal a pornography addiction? We have some recommendations for you.

Find a Support Group

Believe it or not, millions of people probably feel the same way you are. It is worth talking to them about it. There are both local support groups and online options.

Though the COVID-19 pandemic took so much from all of us, it provided way more online options for otherwise in-person activities. You can connect with people worldwide if you want to — without the awkward shame of sitting in a community center surrounded by strangers.

Talk to Your Doctor

Though this may not seem like a medical problem, it is worth mentioning to your doctor. They have access to resources you do not have and can help you find the help you need. Embarrassing conversation? Absolutely. But they have seen and heard it all!

Go to Therapy

Find yourself a qualified therapist, preferably a CSAT or AASECT-certified therapist if there is one near you. If you are more limited in what you can find in your area, remember that therapists make it a policy not to judge you and want to help you sort through the things going on in your life, whatever they may be.

Change Your Daily Habits

A shift in lifestyle is going to be necessary if you want to quit watching porn. If you are seeing a therapist, they can probably help you identify and avoid your triggers. For example, if you always watch porn on your cell phone before you go to bed, maybe you should get yourself an analog alarm clock and keep the phone charging in your living room.

Take up a new hobby, get out of the house, call up a friend, or start exercising. Anything you can do to shift how you view your daily activities will help. The additional bonus is that you may learn new skills, make new friends, or get in shape!

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Make It Difficult To Watch Porn

Sometimes, getting out of the house isn’t enough to keep you from watching porn. You may need to resort to measures such as installing anti-porn software on your devices. Tell a close friend or family member to set the password, and don’t let them give it to you.

Keep your devices in a place where you have to really think about getting them. Your laptop might stay in a laptop sleeve, in a bag, or on a high shelf in the closet. You have to do a lot of work and a lot of thinking to get it, so that might be enough to give you pause.

Conclusion

There’s no doubt about it: pornography is enticing, and it is truly addictive. Though there are many potential causes for porn addiction, it is possible to quit.

Controlling compulsions can be difficult, but you can do yourself a favor by keeping your devices out of reach, finding a qualified therapist, getting yourself into a support group, and talking to someone about what you’re going through. You’ve got this!

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Sources:

Pornography Addiction: Why Pornography Is Addictive? | WebMD

Porn Addiction: Definition, Signs, Causes, Effects, and Treatments | Very Well Mind

Why Porn Can Be Difficult to Quit | Fight The New Drug